The thing about kisses...

...is they're not always as perfect as what you see in the movies. And you can never trust what other people tell you as well.

All the talk about exchanging saliva, french kissing for 10+ minutes and all that still makes my stomach turn. ><

To them, it's like an achievement. A mark to for others so that they can be known as an experienced one. Most of the boys go "I've done that, what about you..."

It seems to be a very small issue to be solved by just getting a girl and giving her a smooch. Highly superficial.


But to me, I guess I'm different. The first kiss means a lot to me. It takes a lot of consideration before actually doing it. Is she the right one? Will she accept me? ... before actually going into the details such as when? how? and all that.

I know that others have been saying that we're pretty slow for such a steady couple. But I don't mind, and I think she doesn't as well.

Nevertheless, I have chosen the girl I would share my first kiss with. Although it was nothing like the movies, and no more than 2 seconds, I can confidently say that she loves me more than I could ever love her.


Although it felt really awkward and nothing like what you hear from others or see in the movies, I guess the kiss we shared was simple and sincere, much more than I could hope for.

To my darling out there. x3

A Wheel-Life REality Show.

... is happening before my eyes.

Well, although it's not American Idol, I must say, the tension around here is tighter than the cables that holds the Penang Bridge.

A word of warning to all readers,
None of this is funny, and this is all real. Just wait till it's your turn.

But wait, I haven't told you what's the event that's got me on my nerves as well. And believe me, not many events really make me nervous.

It's the driving exam. You may say "Nahhh, it's a piece of cake." I'd say the same thing now, but if you asked me when it was happening, I'd tell you the complete opposite.

4 Similiarities to the American Idol Auditions:
1. You get there really early, but it starts one whole hour later.
2. You only get one chance, make it, or break it.
3. If you make it, you'll definitely be in cloud nine, and there are tons of other who wish the same thing would happen to them.
4. If you don't make it, there would be gasps, followed by pin drop silence, except for the sound of your own heart accelerating.

And yes, I am not joking, and neither am I exaggerating. This is a real-life story. No fiction anywhere in between.

Stage 1: Slope.
This is the most embarassing stage if you fail. That's because if you do, countless eyes will be watching, and you'll never get to the next stage. Plus, you just blew RM150, and you have to see this place once more and go through it all again.

Driving to the point where your front tyres are occupying 50% of that narrow yellow line is nothing. It's getting those @#$%-up cars to move forward.

Allowing the car to move backwards results in immediate disqualification. And so does disobeying the officers orders.

Now, why does it give me the feeling that all that is happening is similiar to American Idol.
From an audience point of view:
1. You connect with whoever is being tested. When the person passes, you feel a hint of joy as well. When he fails, the tension increases.
2. You hope you make it even though 60% of the people don't.

From a candidates point of view:
1. Your future rests upon this moment, it's either do or die.
2. You hold your breathe till you pass.
3. You are affected by the audience.
4. If you make it, you're on cloud nine. And you start calling everyone to tell of your achievements the moment you can take out your cell phone.
5. If you fail, you blame it on every single thing you can blame. Blame it on the way you slept yesterday, to the time you woke up this morning, on the way you dressed, on the car you got, on not adjusting the car seat properly, to the bloody clutch and accelerator, to the @#$%^&!!! officer and etc.

See what I mean.

Other stages, although are just as wild, are not as worthy mentioning now compared to stage 1. Provided you already paid the extras.

The Irony Of Growing Up

Growing up is ironic. How so...

When we're small, cute, innocent, we can't wait to grow up. Stronger, bigger, wiser (so-called)....

But now, when our wishes are granted, when we're old, we just wished we could relive our childhood once more. The carefree life, the life with little responsibilities and expectations.

Sadly, no one can turn back the clock. Science may have been able to make someone look younger, but it does not make the person younger in anyway, physically, emotionally, mentally.

But then again, there is some reason in trying to grow up faster (when you're a toddler). Without the hormones, the experiences, the physical growth, there is much that one will miss out if you're not old enough. You will be unable to experience excitement, love, agony, pain, euphoria, desperation... (ok, maybe a little)

But what if, you could possess the body of a teen, but still having the same mental properties. You're actualy 30, but having a body of a teen, young, energetic.

Now that, would be something...

My 1st Driving Class...

... was seriously fun!!!!!

I know, I just drove my mum's car round and round a parking lot, but I never expected Mr. Leong (my driving instructor) to allow me to drive on the road. XD

But of course, a sane driving instructor will not allow you to drive on the road on your 1st lesson unless he's fully convinced you can drive stick.

Nevertheless, after half an hour driving round and round the parking lot (the same parking lot I've been driving my mother's car in...), he was quite confident that I could drive.

Reason: 1. The engine didn't go kaput.
2. I was super calm (yeah right, my palms were sweating like it was in a sauna)
3. My mother already taught me the basics.

Then, it was time to swim with the sharks.
Taking small roads that lead to the amazons (where the piranhas are,), he directs me to a slope where the ultimate test is, which determines whether his judgement was right or wrong.

Giving me a brief explanation of what you should do when you stop at the slope, I listen intently and said to myself, "if only mum had given me the same instructions, I would already have mastered this task."

Let me contrast mum's guide to driving on slopes with his,

His instructions were...
Step 1: Put the car in gear.
Step 2: Press the accelerator till u hear revving sounds.
Step 3: Gently release the clutch until the car starts vibrating (which means she's ready to go!)
Step 4: Release the handbrake
...And what do you know, the car didn't go backwards and neither did it die. xp

Mum's instructions were...
"You have to feel it."
"Don't release the clutch so fast."
and last but not least...
"You see, you release the clutch too fast."

Haiz, I'm lucky mum does not work as a driving instructor or I'm sure to fail.

Anyway, after the final hurdle, he decided that I was capable of handling the kancil on the main roads. I was as thrilled as a boy who has finally learned how to cycle without falling. There is just one wee bit that gets on my nerves from time to time. It's when other people potong me and give me a look.

Whoa, some were so intimidating, I would have lost control of the car should I continue staring at him.

Other people:
"Hey kiddo, you drive so slow, a snail could easily overtake you." (Street racer)
"Get out of the way, kiddo, or I might just crush you, you @#$%^&!!!!" (Lorry driver)
"Die lorrr, a boy also dun know how to drive properly ah. How can?! (Auntie)

Me: "Just you wait and see. One day, you'll eat my dust!"

Today's acheivement:
1. Highest speed: 55 km/h
2. Highest gear: 4
3. Number of times engine goes kaput: 0

But the thing I loved the most is in this class was... the air-con was on at full blast the whole journey. xp

Next lesson: Parking and reversing!

Finally I can legally drive....

Haiz...
I'm already too old to start driving at this age.

But still, better late than never.

Then on the other hand, my darling has been asking me to "quickly learn so can take her go kai kai."

Jumping in head first!!!!!

It has just occurred to me that I'm not one who reads instruction manuals on HOW-TO-DO-IT.

I just dive in, trying out every single nook and cranny, pushing all the buttons, turning every knob, and learning from the results of my actions even if it means breaking stuff and getting hurt.

Is this normal???

Can things ever change?

It seems to me that not everyone gets what they want.

Is it fate, destiny, your upbringing, or curse?

Why is it that some people can't get what they want, no matter how much they long for it and yet others reject the very thing that means so much to the less fortunate?

Are some people destined for greatness while others aren't?

Are some people just a little more lucky?

I'm sitting here, staring at the computer screen late in the middle of the night. All I hear is the clacking of the keyboard and my own breathing.

I'm frustrated with myself. It's just that no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to get what I want, what I long for, what I need.